Maybe
by bloodredcherry
Summary: Christmas is supposed to a season of happiness but Jennifer Coates is anything but. REVISED. NEW CHAPTERS. WIP
1. Prologue

**Maybe**

**Disclaimer:** Nothing besides the story idea belongs to me, and this was written for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating: **K+

**Authors Note:** Okay, it has been a while since I have seen JAG, not since Sturgis came along but—I still love the show, and I love Jennifer Coates. So this is my tribute to her and before I go on I want to give a warning right now: _as stated by another author in a different fandom_: "this is going to be the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed!" So if that is not your cup of tea, don't say I didn't warn you.

Maybe is a Christmas!fic, that is going to be Tiner/Coates/Mikey as in Mikey Roberts. I found the ship Coates/Mike Roberts on a website (I don't recall where) and it has just stuck with me since. I can't get rid of it, and for some reason I just _love_ it.

And I will mark it as an Alternate Universe just to get all my bases covered. Because I like the Admiral, so the Admiral is going to be in this fan fiction! I am going to take some liberties with the episode _Answered Prayers_ because I never saw it, so I don't know if Mikey and Jennifer ever met, but in this story they did meet.

Keep flames to yourself. I am writing this story for myself hoping a few other people may gain some enjoyment from it. I do however welcome constructive criticism (for those who don't know, there is a difference).

So if you are willing to delve into something new (or maybe you are a fellow shipper yourself) please, enjoy and as always leave a comment letting me know what you think!

**Authors Note 2: **_**12/23/07 **__I have been staring at this story for months trying to find out how to get it going again and so I have decided to revise my story! It will be a bit different, and hopefully a much better and well rounded story. Plus, it's actually Christmas Time so I will be inspired! _

&&&

It was snowing again.

Jennifer Coates was watching out her kitchen window at the snowflakes that were falling, they caught the light from the street lamps and settled in a blanket over the cars and trees in the parking lot. She knew she had better appreciate the snow tonight, before the next morning when it would be slush.

Jennifer had decided that tomorrow morning she would be wear her runners to work. She winced as she reached for the dish soap. Her hip still smarted from her fall, she was just glad that only Harm had been there.

"Right," she muttered, "because then I might have been embarrassed." She hadn't missed the twinkle in his eye as he helped her up off the sidewalk.

She sighed heavily and turned the soap bottle over the sink and squirted it angrily. The blue soap curled into the water and she stuck her hands in after and sloshed it around, creating enough bubbles to wash her dinner dishes.

Only a small pile sat by the sink, but dishes had been Mattie's job, and if she didn't wash them before bed, they would pile up.

It was still strange eating by herself, especially after she had gotten so used to eating with Mattie. She still ordered for two— she couldn't quite bring herself to only order for one. She knew it was sentimental and expensive, but she couldn't help it.

_Besides_, she told herself, _this way I don't have to make a lunch for tomorrow._

During the months that Mattie had stayed with Jennifer they had gotten close.

She was happy that Mattie was with her Dad. Jennifer had been happier than she had been in a long time when Mattie told her the news, but then it got lonely and Jennifer was sick of being alone.

Maybe that was why she spent so much time in Harm's apartment now. She asked him if he minded and he said he liked the company, they both missed Mattie and found comfort in each other even if it was just watching late night television and playing Crazy Eight Countdown.

Besides Mattie, Jennifer didn't have many friends and it was nice to have someone Jennifer could call a friend outside of the Navy.

Christmas was always the hardest of all the holidays. As much as Jennifer was glad that she had left Hagerstown, glad that she made it out Jennifer missed her Mother. Even though they had gone through a lot of problems while Jennifer was growing up she still loved her mom, and appreciated the calls that they shared every week.

_Probably doesn't hurt that you live six hours away from her, _Jennifer thought.

Jennifer looked over at her phone, and had a fleeting though of calling the airport and booking herself a fight back home.

_You can't do that,_ she chided herself. She grabbed a plate and began scrubbing it furiously.

_You're __done__ with that place. You promised yourself that a long time ago._ Jennifer pulled off her rubber gloves; suddenly she didn't feel much like washing dishes. In fact she didn't feel like doing much of anything besides having a hot bath and reading a good book.

She didn't both to unplug the drain, but left the kitchen turning the lights off behind her.

&&&

**Sorry for the short prologue, but there will be another update soon, and chapters will be longer! Please R&R, and thank you for reading!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Maybe**

**Disclaimer:** Nothing besides the story idea belongs to me, and this was written for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating: **K+

**Authors Note:** Thanks to those who read and reviewed my story! If you have any ideas, shout them out because any comments or constructive criticism is welcome.

If there was any confusion, Maybe is a **Jen/Harm Friendship** story.

In the end, this story is going to be Mikey/Jennifer, but throughout the story there will be plenty of Tiner/Jennifer as well!

For the most part my chapters are usually short and sometimes medium, I like to think that just means more chapters!

Enjoy!

**Authors Note 2**: _I forgot to mention in the prologue – the Secret Santa is no more! I was having so much trouble with it that I took it out all together. So hopefully those of you who have already read this story will re-read it and notice the changes!_

&&&

**Chapter One**

Jennifer let out a disgruntled sigh and stabbed at the button that shut off the radio that had been playing on her desk since she got to work.

Her morning had started out well. She woke up before her alarm and even had time for breakfast. When she got to the office, someone had decorated the Bullpen and she couldn't help but to smile.

Jennifer settled down at her desk, and had been preoccupied by phone calls and visitors until around noon. And then, for some reason still unbeknownst to her she had decided it would be a good idea to turn it to a station that was playing "Non-Stop Christmas music".

Then the DJ decided to taunt her by playing every romantic Christmas song ever produced in history.

Well. Maybe she was exaggerating a little— a familiar song's lyrics drifted across the bullpen _"…please come home for Christmas… or only in my dreams…" _Jennifer dropped her head into her hand with a short growl of frustration— or not.

Jennifer sighed deeply, reminding herself that she had a job to do.

_And if you don't do it, you'll be fired, and if you get fired_… Jennifer decided not to finish that thought.

"Bah hum bug, Petty Officer?"

"Eh?" Jennifer replied, startled. She looked up and Sarah Mackenzie was grinning down at her. "Oh," Jennifer felt her cheeks flush, "yes ma'am, I guess you could say that. Did you need to see the Admiral?"

Mac nodded, "I need to confer with him about the Christmas Party."

Jennifer smiled, "Go on in." As soon as Mac disappeared into the Admiral's office at his call she sighed again.

_When did you get this bitter?_ She wondered, drumming her fingers on her desk. _You used to like Christmas, you used to __look_ _forward_ _to the holidays_.

She reached over and picked up the invitation that had been left on her desk that morning. Jennifer had tried to be excited but she had a feeling she had done a horrible job of convincing those around her. She _wanted _to be excited for the party after all; she _had _to be excited because she didn't want to bring everyone else's spirits down with her.

_Be_ happy she commanded herself; _you have so much to be happy for_. She glanced up at the clock, and sighed before gathering up the large pile of files that the Admiral had left on her desk that morning. She shifted the weight in her arms; she hadn't realized there were so many. Jennifer walked to the door and pushed it open, glad that she didn't have to wrestle with a knob.

She set across the bullpen, with her eyes down on the files, trying to count how many she had, not looking at where she was going. If she had been looking she would have realized that she was heading right for someone, someone else who wasn't watching where they were walking but was more interested in trying to pin his visitors pass to the front of his uniform.

No one had time to call out a warning before they collided.

They strode into each other head on, Jennifer flew backwards, she cried out and fumbled to keep hold of the files before they slipped from her arms and scattered across the floor. Jennifer landed hard on her backside before Mikey could catch her properly.

As it happened he caught her elbow and was nearly pulled over himself. Jennifer sat on the floor, her face held a look of surprise and shock.

"I'm so sorry," Mikey apologized, which brought Jennifer swiftly back to the present. She looked over at the mess of papers and files.

"Oh no."

Mikey followed where she was looking and winced, "are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Jennifer replied, _so much for getting out of here at 1900_. She thought darkly, she looked over at the person who had crashed into her. She furrowed her brow; he looked familiar, though she couldn't put a name to the face.

"I can't believe..." Mikey muttered, his face was red with embarrassment and suddenly Jennifer felt her eye's burning and she blinked.

"It's okay," she said, her voice tripping over the sudden rush of tears.

"No," Mikey sighed, "it's not okay." The mess of files on the floor was going to take hours to sort through, there had to be at least fifteen. He looked at her face, and saw the tears that stood in her eyes and then he suddenly felt about twenty times worse.

"Hey," Bud came out of his office, and saw the mess on the floor, Jennifer was gathering the files into a pile and Mikey was still crouched on the floor. "They forget to teach you how to walk?"

Jennifer looked up at Bud, wondering why he would be so rude when suddenly something clicked and she looked back at the man who had run into her. She _did_ know him, he was Bud's brother. They met two Christmas's ago.

Jennifer turned back to her files. This day was just getting better and better.

Bud walked over to where Jennifer had fallen. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she replied, the tears had managed to leak out of her eyes and she brushed at them with the cuff of her sleeve.

"I—I can talk to the Admiral," Mikey offered, "I can tell him it was my fault..."

Jennifer shook her head before getting to her feet. "Don't bother; he's used to this kind of stuff from me." Mikey took a better hold of her elbow and helped her up, she nodded. "Sorry for running into you." With that she turned and made her way back to her office, leaving Mikey in the bullpen, staring after her.

&&&

Jennifer stared at herself in the mirror, she was in the ladies room and she had just splashed her face with some cool water.

As soon as she had deposited the files back at her desk she had rushed off to the rest room. When she made it there she had run into the first stall, closed the door collapsed on the toilet and burst into tears.

That had been the last straw, her throbbing backside and the papers strewn across the floor. She wasn't surprised with the first word that came to mind: _Typical_. The Admiral would look up at her from his desk; his brow slightly furrowed his mouth set into a line.

Jennifer could not bear that look again.

_Maybe that's why you're hiding out in the bathroom_, she checked her watch, she'd been in here for almost ten minutes. The Admiral would find out about it one way or another and no amount of hiding was going to change that fact.

Jennifer turned on the tap, splashed her warm cheeks with more cool water before turning off the tap again. This time she grabbed a few paper towels and patted her cheeks dry, and then she dabbed at the lapels of her jacket, and the front of her uniform.

As she exited the ladies room, Jennifer was relieved to find that neither Bud nor his brother were in the bullpen. She could hopefully keep some of her dignity.

She heard a song float across the room— someone else must have grown tired of the Christmas music as well. She wasn't familiar with the band, but they had a mellow tone that made Jennifer feel better. After all, who was really happy all the time anyway?

She pushed open the door that lead back to her desk and she let out a quick gasp of surprise.

"Oh," Mikey stood up, "look, I feel terrible. Will you at least let me help you?"

Jennifer reflexively smoothed down the front of her uniform, "some of these files pertain to ongoing cases and I think it would invalidate confidentiality clauses if you were privy to them." Jennifer was aware that she said a three word reply in all that nonsense but she pushed that thought out of her mind.

Mikey stood beside her desk, he was clutching his hat in his hands and his visitors pass was finally clipped to the front pocket of his uniform but it was askew and Jennifer had a sudden urge to fix it for him, set it straight.

"It's alright," Jennifer said _it's not as if I had any plans for tonight _anyway. Then suddenly she realized _The Christmas Party_! This would be her only free night off to go shopping. Tomorrow she had to work, and then she would go home, eat, change quickly and head over to the Admirals house.

Jennifer wanted to get something for the Admiral and sentimental as it was she wanted to pick a gift for him that would express how thankful she was to him for giving her a second chance. Now she would have to settle for a coffee table book and that was if she was lucky, with the mess that was spread across her desk she would be lucky if she could pick up a gift certificate before all the stores closed.

_Unless…_

Mikey was still standing there, with a hopeful and apologetic look on his face.

There were only three folders that were connected with open cases and she could do those first, set those aside and then the two of them could go through the rest of the folders together.

"Okay," Jennifer finally agreed, "let me get the three open files together and then we can work on the rest."

Mikey's face broke out in a wide smile, and Jennifer couldn't help smiling back.

"Let me get a chair!"

Jennifer passed him on the way to her desk and then she bit her lip, before she dug into the papers with both hands.

&&&

Jennifer placed another manila folder into the pile that she and Mikey had put together. With his help, the time had been easily cut in half, and with Mikey's good mood and easy humor Jennifer found herself in a better mood.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," Jennifer replied, as she set the last file onto the top of the pile.

"I know we've met before but—"

"Two years ago," Jennifer replied quickly, "around the same time actually." Jennifer's face flushed with embarrassment when she remembered when they had met, and under what circumstances.

Jennifer had changed a lot since then, the night she had promised herself that she would never put herself or anyone else in that position again. It had been difficult over the months, but she knew that with the Admiral and Harm and of course Mattie that it wasn't impossible.

"Oh," Mikey replied, and something crossed his face and then he nodded, "I remember."

Jennifer smiled as she pushed her chair back, she didn't know what to say so she didn't say anything at all.

"Hey," Mikey said, "it's only 1830."

Jennifer smiled, a wide genuine smile, "thank you—"

"Mikey." He stuck out his hand and Jennifer took it, his grip was strong and he shook it quickly before letting go.

"Petty Officer Coates" Jennifer paused, "or Jennifer," Jennifer picked up all her files and she wrapped her arms around them protectively. "Well thanks again and sorry again, for running into you before." A moment of silence passed over them, and though it wasn't entirely awkward Jennifer felt the back of her throat dry and she swallowed. Maybe it was the fact that he always looked at her, straight in the eye.

_That and the fact that he's not terrible looking might have something to do with it_.

Jennifer cleared her throat, and made her way to the door.

"Let me get that," he pushed the door open for her and she couldn't help but to look at him with something akin to disbelief.

Maybe it was the fact that somewhere over the years Jennifer had become jaded but, she felt suspicious at his kindness. He seemed too nice, but it was strange because Jennifer trusted that he was being genuine. She wasn't sure why she trusted him, but she did.

"P.O Coates," a familiar voice called just as she stepped out the door.

"Yes Sir?" She did not want to take the chance of spilling the files again, so she tightened her arms as Mikey snapped to attention behind her.

"At ease; you almost done with those files?" The Admiral asked.

"Yessir," Jennifer replied.

"That's good; I wouldn't want you to be the last person left in this building."

The corners of Jennifer's lips twitched and she nodded, "yessir, all I have to do is file them away."

"Glad to hear it," the Admiral smiled before finally disappearing back into his office. If Jennifer didn't know any better she could have sworn that the Admiral…_winked_ at her?

Jennifer shook her head, _no; he had something in his eye_. She glanced over to Mikey.

"Well, I'd better go catch up with my brother," he said, "it was nice to see you again."

"Oh," Jennifer said, "thanks, you too." She watched as he pushed through the door and headed towards Bud's office.

It took Jennifer a second to realize that she was staring at the closed door. She shook her head and headed to her filing cabinet that rested against the far wall.

Jennifer opened the first drawer and took the files that were lettered A through C.

She hadn't thought it was possible this morning but she actually felt better. Better perhaps than she had felt in a long time.

As she closed the drawer and opened the next one she hoped this wasn't the last of her good moods.

&&&

**Another chapter is complete, and she has now met Mikey! **

**I think due to what happened with Jennifer's ex boyfriend (being abusive and all) it would take her a long time to trust guys even though it has been years since it happened. That's why she is almost suspicious when Mikey is being nice to her.**

**This story will not be of epic proportions ut, I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter, so please review and let me know what you think! **


	3. Chapter 2

**Maybe**

**Disclaimer:** Nothing besides the story idea belongs to me, and this was written for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating: **K+

**Authors Note:** Thanks so much to those who read and reviewed! Here is the next update.

**Authors Note 2: **_All I can say is that I'm glad I can actually write this story at Christmas, instead of in the middle of the year._

_This chapter is the same day as the chapter before, only later in the evening. (Just in case that wasn't clear)._

_Oh! Sorry for another short chapter but I hope you'll enjoy it anyway._

&&&

**Chapter 2**

Jennifer hit the automatic door lock for her car, and shifted her packages in her arms. The mall had been busy, but she had managed to get most of her shopping done that night before the mall closed.

She made her way across the parking lot and struggled to get her keys out of her coat pocket.

Jennifer opened the door to the building and closed it behind her; she shivered and was thankful for the warmth of the building. She pressed the button for the elevator and waited for it to arrive; Jennifer rushed inside and pushed the number of her floor.

When she finally made it inside her apartment she deposited her gifts on her couch and stretched her arms, then she took off her hat and took the pins out of her hair, pulling it free from its braid. Jennifer ran her fingers through her hair and sighed.

She heard a beep from behind her and looked over to her answering machine. She walked over and pressed the receive messages button.

"_Jennifer? Hey it's Mattie_," Jennifer grinned, "_why haven't you called me? Just because I moved out doesn't mean I'm dead, besides I thought we were going to go to the movies this Saturday? Anyway, I'm late for school so I have to keep this short but Harm told me about the Christmas party, so I will see you tonight. Bye… and I miss you. Bye again, Bye_."

Jennifer grinned happily and bit her thumb, it was just like Mattie to be honest and Jennifer felt ashamed that she hadn't called Mattie as much as she should have.

Besides she did want to see that movie and there was _no way_ that she would be seeing another horror movie like the last time.

Jennifer clicked on the television and went into her room to get ready.

&&&

Jennifer heard the doorbell ring just as she applied the final coat of nail polish to her toes.

"Just a minute, sir!" She cried. She struggled to get her left foot into her sandals without smudging her polish. Her heels were black and strappy, with a clasp that closed around the ankle. She pushed herself to her feet and rushed out of the bathroom; she grabbed her coat and slipped it on. She wondered if her dress was too casual, she rarely got a chance to dress up so her definition of formal might be different than someone else's.

She unlocked her front door and pulled it open.

"Hello sir!" Jennifer exclaimed.

"Jen," Harm said making a face, "it's Christmas."

"Yes sir," Jennifer replied, then it clicked in her mind, "oh sorry—it's just habit."

"Are you ready?" Harm asked.

"With bells on…" Jennifer paused, "oh no!" She flung her purse at Harm who just managed to catch it. "I almost forgot the Admiral's present!" She ran into her apartment, she hurried into the living room, the toe of her heel caught on the edge of the rug and she pitched forward. She managed to catch herself and snatched her Secret Santa gift out from under her small, fake Christmas tree.

"All right," she said running back to the front door. She was panting and braced her left hand on the door frame. "Now I'm ready."

Harm only laughed and handed Jennifer back her purse. She locked her apartment and then turned back to the Commander. He proffered his arm and Jennifer took it. They were going together to the party and Jennifer couldn't help but to notice how smart Harm looked in his dress uniform.

"You look dapper," Jennifer said patting Harm's arm.

"Thank you Jennifer," Harm replied, his eyes brightening at the complement. He paused in the hall to look Jennifer over. "You look lovely."

Jen couldn't help but to blush and just then the elevator door opened revealing an older woman waiting in the elevator and she smiled as Jennifer walked in, her smile widened when Harm followed behind her.

"Well!" The woman said, "Aren't you both looking nice?"

The Apartment building that Harm and Jen lived in was a small complex, so it wasn't difficult to get to know the neighbours. The woman in the elevator was Mrs. Garber from apartment 205. She was a retired and lived with her husband. She was nice enough but had a love for gossip—especially building gossip.

"I'm just off to my daughter-in-law's, Henry will be following after he leaves the office. Are you two going out?" She asked.

"Oh, we're just going to a Christmas party." Jennifer replied.

"Oh, well you two have fun," Mrs. Garber said, a small smile crossing her lips. _Imagine the look on Henry's face when he heard that the little Navy Girl from apartment 201 was seeing the Hunk from 203!_ The elevator reached the main floor and Mrs. Garber left first, patting Harm on the arm, then she turned and shot Jennifer a _very_ approving look. She looked pointedly at Harm again then left.

Jennifer's face flushed with embarrassment, "we're just going together!" She yelled at the Mrs. Garber's back, "Because it's convenient!" Mrs. Garber gave Jennifer a wave before she exited the front door.

"So now I'm just convenient?" Harm demanded, in a mock insulted tone.

"No offense Harm," Jennifer said, "but by next week everyone in the building is going to be asking if we've set a date." She rolled her eyes and followed Harm out the front door.

"Mattie told me she was coming tonight," Jennifer said as she and Harm deposited their gifts in the backseat.

"She's hopefully going to get there around eight." Harm said with a grin.

The drive to the Admiral's house was not a long drive but Jennifer still had enough time to get nervous butterflies in her stomach.

Jen fiddling with the heat vent as Harm hit the button to scan through the radio station. He settled on a familiar station, the same one Jennifer had been forced to listen to all afternoon the day before.

"And now," the announcer's loud voice jumped from the speakers, "time for a classic!"

Jennifer rolled her eyes, as far as she was concerned, a Christmas tune from 1997 was _not_ a classic. She was pleased however when she heard the opening chord to Frank Sinatra's, _I'll Be Home for Christmas_. Jen heard Harm clear his throat,

"I'll be home for Christmas," Harm began in his normal baritone voice; Jennifer licked her lips and glanced out the window.

Harm had noticed how faded Jennifer had looked over the weeks since Mattie moved out with her Dad. Harm knew there was more too it, but he didn't want to press, instead he cleared his voice for a second time and Jennifer looked at him expecting him to say something.

"Christmas Eve will find me," he sang, drawing the syllable out of the word _me_, he gave her a pointed look. Jennifer rolled her eyes, "where the love light gleams—" Harm purposely made his voice crack on the last word, hoping for a smirk.

"I'm just getting started Petty Officer," Harm quipped, "now get singing – and that's an order!"

Jennifer's lips twitched, and finally she laughed. She knew Harm was trying to cheer her up and she appreciated it, she took a deep breath and joined in with the commander on the third verse.

When they finally turned onto the Admiral's street, the song had just reached the final chorus.

"_I'll be home_," Jennifer sang with gusto, "_if only in my—_" as they reached the driveway in front of the Admiral's residence the song died on Jennifer's lips.

She saw a familiar car sitting in the driveway and the Admiral was shaking hands with a very familiar Petty Officer on the front steps, Harriet was standing with them, and she was still in her coat so her and Bud must have just arrived.

"_Dreams!"_ Harm finished in a loud forced vibrato, not noticing that Jennifer had gone silent. He glanced over at her, and he saw her looking out the window, her same somber look from before had returned.

"No one told me he was coming."

"Who?" Harm asked, he didn't miss the thickness of Jennifer's voice.

"Tiner."

&&&

**I know I haven't really explained much about Jennifer and Jason's past but don't worry, that is coming up! Oh and sorry for another question but does anyone have an idea where Tiner was transferred? **

**Thanks and please review and let me know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Maybe**

**Disclaimer:** Nothing besides the story idea belongs to me, and this was written for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating: **K+

**Authors Note 1 & 2: **Woah, more than 4000 hits, thanks to those who have taken the time to read this story, I really appreciate it.

As always, comments and constructive criticism is welcome. If you notice something amiss or something that just bothers you – let me know because sometimes I just can't catch it.

Over the weeks it might be a while between updates, but I won't forget this story so please don't worry. Feel free to harass me, because if I know that people are reading this an enjoying it and _cannot wait for the next chapter_ then it will keep me writing.

Anyway, this is where the changes become obvious, because the Christmas party is no longer at Harriet's and there is no longer a Secret Santa!

Anyway, Enjoy!

&&&

**Chapter Three**

Suddenly Jennifer wasn't feeling quite so giddy; the excitement of a night with friends was quickly fading.

No one had bothered to tell her that he was going to be there. If they had she would have been able to prepare herself, she would have worn jeans and a T shirt.

She would have feigned the flu and stayed home.

"Jen…" Harm said, he didn't know the whole story, but he knew that Jennifer had been quite fond of the Petty Officer but then Tiner left and Jennifer hadn't spoken of him again.

"It's okay," Jennifer gave Harm a shaky smile, "I just wasn't expecting him."

"Neither was I," Harm replied as he pulled to a stop. He cut the engine and Jennifer stared at the door handle for a while, then she heard Harm open his door. She sighed; she couldn't very well sit in the car when the Admiral and Harriet were standing right there. She grabbed the door handle and waited a beat before pushing the door open.

"Jennifer!" Harriet yelled, and Jennifer winced, "you won't believe who's here!" Jennifer looked up at Harriet with what she hoped was a curious expression on her face. Jason Tiner was still standing on the front steps, and he looked very embarrassed.

_All we need is Gunny, and it will be a party._

Just as she that thought came into her mind, a green SUV turned the corner and she looked at it in disbelief.

_This is _Christmas she thought helplessly, _the season of _good_ tidings._

She numbly followed Harm up the front walk and Harm greeted Tiner, clapping him on the back before looking to the Admiral.

Jennifer looked at Jason, and then he smiled. He came towards her and before she could say anything he was hugging her. Jennifer stood there, with her arms down at her side; she could hear the Admiral inviting Harm and Harriet inside.

"How are you?" Tiner asked finally letting her go.

"Oh," Jennifer replied, "I can't complain." _Of course you can, _a voice in her head objected, _you can look at him and ask him why he never once called or wrote. You were supposed to be friends, at the very least friends._

He was standing there like nothing was wrong, like she should be happy too see him.

_Well of course he would, he doesn't know anything is wrong_. Jennifer found that infuriating. He should have known something was wrong.

She suddenly felt naked under her winter coat, her neckline was too revealing and she clutched unconsciously at the lapels of her coat.

"Well I'm just going to—" Jennifer blurted, hoping to escape inside.

"Jennifer!" The front door to the SUV slammed shut, and Gunny was striding up the front walk. She found her smile for Victor was a little less forced than it had been for Jason. "You look wonderful."

"Thanks," Jennifer replied laughing. "You don't look so bad yourself." And just out of spite she opened her arms and gave him a tight hug. Gunny seemed a bit surprised but hugged her back anyway.

"How've you been?" She asked, still smiling so wide her cheeks hurt.

"Oh," he shrugged, "you know," Jennifer didn't know, at least anything more than what Harm told her. Not that it mattered, Gunny suddenly looked behind her and noticed Tiner for the first time.

"Jason!" Gunny exclaimed, "How the hell are you?"

Jason looked away from Jennifer.

"Busy," he replied.

Jennifer was edging towards the door, all she had to do was find Mac or the Admiral—she just needed a familiar face that she could hide behind and everything would be fine. She opened her mouth to excuse herself but someone beat her to it.

"Jennifer?"

She looked up, her hand was frozen where she was about to grab the handle to open the door. Mikey was looking down at her, she felt a smile tugging on the corners of her lips.

"Mike," she said with a rush of relief.

"Yeah," he smiled.

The door opened and the Admiral stepped out, "well, I didn't realize the party was outside. Are you going to come in, or shall I move the refreshments onto the front lawn?"

Jennifer all but ran up the stairs, she smiled at the Admiral and clutched at his arm in thanks. He simply looked bewildered and beckoned everyone inside.

"C'mon inside!" He said, "there's cider and coffee in the kitchen."

"The house looks great," Jennifer said, sidestepping the mistletoe just at the last minute. The house really did look fantastic. Outside the eaves were strung with white icicle lights while the trees were covered in multicolored single lights.

Inside, lights and garland were wrapped around the banister on the staircase and lit candles rested on the front table. Jennifer could already see the tree in the front room and it was large and decorated with loads of ornaments and flashing white lights. Jennifer could also see more candles and garland that rested on the mantle of the fireplace.

"Coats please," the Admiral said, and even though it wasn't a command everyone unzipped their coats and pulled them off. Jennifer was aware of a chill on her bare shoulders and she rubbed her arms self consciously.

"Tiner," Harriet said suddenly. She had been watching Jennifer since they all stepped inside and had decided it was high time she rescued the young female Petty Officer.

Harriet took hold of Jason's arm, "I know Mac will be happy to see you, as well as my husband." Jason let her pull him away. Jennifer let out a sigh of relief and then she looked at Victor, stepped past the Admiral to the coat rack and slammed her coat down on the hook and stormed into the kitchen.

She didn't care that she had just made a scene. Jennifer just could not stand there in the front hall any longer.

She took a deep breath before she grabbed a mug, poured half a cup of coffee in, and then topped the rest off with Bailey's. She raised the cup to her lips. She took a long drink.

She couldn't believe… Jennifer took a shaky breath.

It was _Christmas_ she was going to be _happy_.

The stupid thing was that she had no reason to be angry with Tiner. They had never even gone on a date, except for that one football game, but that didn't count because the only reason Jason had asked her was because Gunny had backed out last minute.

The game had been fun though; they'd spent the afternoon huddled under a blanket, as Jason had tried to explain the rules to Jennifer. She had allowed herself to day dream that day, she allowed herself to think that maybe she wasn't crazy and maybe there was a chance for things to finally _go right_.

Then Tiner's transfer had come through and it just seemed like something had been left hanging. They had never discussed the possibility of a relationship but Jennifer had invented for them a strange sort of courtship that in the end had gone nowhere. Perhaps that was why Jennifer was so angry; he had never said anything either way.

Jennifer liked things to be clear and she liked to know where she stood.

She let out another sigh and took another drink. As soon as she finished her drink she'd grab some cider and stop hiding. She wasn't a jilted teenager, she could handle rejection.

She could handle the fact that she was not good enough for Jason Tiner.

"Jen?"

She looked up, it was Mac she was wearing a pair of black slacks and a lilac satin tank top.

"Hi," she raised her cup in greeting.

"Are you okay?" Mac wondered.

"Super," she drained the rest of her spiked coffee, "I'll be out there in a second." She put down her first cup into the sink and then she grabbed another mug. She ladled some cider in and smiled again at Mac.

"A little less teeth Jennifer."

Jen's smile faltered then was gone completely.

"I know something that will make you feel better," Mac said, "c'mon."

Jennifer doubted it but she let Mac take her hand and take her the living room. When she stepped into the room she saw that in lieu of there being no piano that a karaoke machine with a television had been set up instead.

"Karaoke Christmas Style," Mac nodded, Jennifer shot her a look, "wait for it."

It was then she noticed the Admiral holding the microphone, the opening chords filled the living room. The song sounded familiar, the Admiral took a deep breath shot a look in Jennifer's direction then began a rousing rendition of _Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindee_r.

At first Jennifer was disturbed, but then when she heard Mac snort she let a giggle escape from between her lips. By the end of the song Mac was wiping tears from her eyes and Jennifer was gasping trying to catch her breath. Everyone cheered and clapped madly when the Admiral finished.

"Anymore requests?" He asked, shooting a pointed look in Harm's direction.

"No more!" Harriet exclaimed, "Please!" Harriet was openly crying and this caused another round of snorts and giggles.

Jennifer looked at Mac, "I know you asked him to sing that song. There's no way that was impromptu."

"Maybe not, but it cheered you up didn't it?"

Jennifer shrugged, "I may be feeling a little more cheery."

"Why don't you sing us a song?" Mikey asked, Jennifer hadn't realized that he had come up behind her.

Jen snorted, "Yeah right, the only place I sing is in the shower."

Mikey shrugged, "I'm not sure you give yourself enough credit." Jennifer watched him stand up and walk across the room. He grabbed AJ and flung him up over his shoulder. AJ shrieked with laughter and Mikey bounced him around the corner.

Jennifer looked over at Mac, who was looking at her.

"What?"

"Do you know Mikey?"

"We've… run into each other a few times." Jennifer replied.

Mac was looking thoughtful.

"_What_?" Jennifer asked again, the way Mac was scrutinizing her was making Jennifer nervous.

"I think he might just be right."

Jennifer clutched her mug, she watched Mac walk across the room to where Harriet was still laughing and Jen took a deep breath. Did she really do that? Did she always write herself off?

"Jen?" She looked over at Jason, "you coming to eat?"

"Oh yeah," she said, "sure."

Jason was one example, she was angry and blaming him for the fact they had never tried a relationship. Jennifer had never led him to believe they were anything but friends. She had thought about it, and fantasized of course, but she had never _spoken_ to him about it, simply because she was afraid.

Jason smiled, "it's great to see you again," he said.

"It's good to see you too," Jen paused, realized that what she said was the truth. It was good to see him again.

"Earlier," Jason said, "I should have called someone before just showing up. Probably would have made things a little, easier."

Jen felt her cheeks warm. So, maybe he wasn't so oblivious.

Jennifer shrugged, "I—I'm sure it's not a problem," she blurted, and before Jason had a chance to reply she all but ran into the kitchen.

Jason watched after her, "that's not exactly what I meant," he muttered shaking his head.

&&&

**Review and let me know what you think!**


	5. Chapter 4

**Maybe**

**Disclaimer:** Nothing besides the story idea belongs to me, and this was written for entertainment purposes only.

**Rating: **K+

**Authors Note**: Thanks to sohard2c for pointing out my mistake! It's OCS not ROTC. Thanks also to Odakota who told me correctly the first time, but apparently I can't read!

Thanks also to everyone else who has read my story and also to those who reviewed!

**Authors Note 2: **_I am trying to keep an equal balance between Jennifer's anxiety and her acting her age and it's harder than one might think. Please, if you feel that a reaction is just not appropriate _let me know!

_I know that Sturgis is still missing, revision and all, but I just kept the idea that he's simply late for the party!_

_Again more changes coming, and new chapters as well! Just in time for Christmas! _

Enjoy!

&&&

**Chapter 4**

Jennifer practically collided with Mikey, this time he caught her before they bumped into each other.

"Sorry," Jennifer apologized.

"Hungry?" Mikey teased.

"Yes," Jen stole the bun from Mikey's plate and took a big bite, "thanks." Jen went to move past him and he rested a hand on the small of her back as she squeezed by. The contact was unnecessary and Jennifer felt her face flush with a blush.

"Jennifer!" A voice cried just as Jen helped herself to a large spoonful of chilly. She turned around and saw Mattie standing in the doorway; Jen put her plate down on the counter and ran over to the young woman, Jennifer momentarily forgot that the kitchen was full of people and she and Mattie embraced each other tightly, they both shrieked and laughed and when Jennifer and Mattie finally pulled away from each other everyone was looking at them.

"Oh," Jennifer said laughing. She looked at Mattie, her curly hair was pulled into a French twist and she was wearing a cream dress, that was strapless and knee length. "You look great!" Jennifer said pulling Mattie into another tight hug.

"So do you," Mattie replied, "who knew such a fox was hiding under all those sweatpants and tank-tops.

Jennifer shot Mattie a look. "You try wearing high heels and starched Uniform every day of the week and then you can get back to me."

Mattie just laughed.

Jennifer couldn't let go of Mattie for a moment, she just had to be sure something real and good was standing in front of her.

"So, how's your Dad?" Jennifer asked.

Mattie smiled, "it's been interesting, trying to get used to living with each other. But it's good," Mattie finished at the last minute.

Suddenly a loud male laugh was heard from the dining room. Mattie looked past Jennifer and saw a young man in a dress Uniform sit across from Bud Roberts.

Mattie leaned in to whisper in Jennifer's ear, she had to stand on her tippy-toes because Jen was even taller with high heels on.

"Is that the guy you were telling me about?" Mattie whispered.

"No," Jennifer replied quickly.

"Hmm," Mattie shrugged, "too bad."

"Mattie," Jennifer cried.

Mattie simply watched Jen, who was busy piling a mountain of salad onto her place.

"Hey Jen, mind saving some for the rest of us?" Mac joked.

"Sorry," Jen quipped, "I just really like my greens."

Mattie snorted. This was new behaviour from Jennifer, Mattie had seen her former roommate display a lot of emotions, but she had never seen her flustered.

"Mattie!" Harm said, coming into the kitchen just at that moment. Mattie ran over to him and flung her arms around him. Jennifer watched Mattie and Harm together and she found herself smiling without meaning to.

Jennifer squeezed some chili onto her plate and grabbed another dinner roll; she made her way over to the table and put her plate down. She excused herself and headed to the bathroom. She just needed a few moments to collect herself.

Jennifer walked into the bathroom, locked the door and looked into the mirror.

"You can do this," Jennifer told her reflection. She squared her shoulders and took a deep breath before putting the hand towel down and exciting the bathroom.

Mattie was waiting outside.

"Are you okay?" Mattie asked, with real concern.

Jen laughed, "you have no idea how crazy my night has been."

"Does it have anything to do with that handsome young devil who's sitting beside Bud?"

Jennifer paused, and Mattie raised an eyebrow.

"Okay," Mattie continued, "so if that wasn't the guy you told me about then who is he?"

"He's Bud's brother."

"Hmmm." Mattie said again.

"What does _hmmm_ mean?"

"Nothing," Mattie laughed, "it's a non committal noise. Why, should it mean something?"

"No," Jennifer repeated trying to keep her voice low, "I've known him for two days."

"So what?" Mattie countered; Jennifer made her way back over to the table without replying to Mattie. Jennifer sat down when Jason walked out of the kitchen. He spotted the two girls and made his way over.

"Is this a private conversation?" He asked tentatively.

"Nope," Mattie replied, grinning.

Jason looked to Jen for her approval.

"Oh, no, not at all," she replied. "Jason, this is Mattie—Mattie, Jason."

Jason smiled and put his full plate down on the table before sitting beside Mattie.

Mattie looked at Jen, and nodded expectantly.

"Jason used to work at JAG, until he decided to go to OCS."

"So," Mattie said, "are you on leave then?"

"Yeah, for two weeks," Jason replied. "I figured I would come here for a week then head back home for Christmas Day."

"Is that a long trip?" Mattie asked.

Jennifer watched the two of them, Mattie laughed at something Tiner said.

Mattie was saying more to Jason in five minutes than she had said to him since he left. It was too depressing to think about.

Jennifer focused on her chili and scooped some of it up onto her bun, she chewed thoughtfully. She knew her mother would say just let what happened in the past _stays_ in the past but Jennifer couldn't help the hurt feelings she still felt. Writing a letter wasn't difficult, and writing an email was even easier.

Anyway, Jennifer didn't think confronting Tiner at the Christmas party was appropriate, in fact she knew it wasn't, it could wait.

She looked back over to Mattie who was explaining her exam schedule to Jason.

Jennifer shoveled a large helping of chili into her mouth and chewed; suddenly Jason excused himself and got up from the table.

"So, _that's_ the guy you were telling me about." Mattie said, in a hushed voice.

"I don't want to talk about it," Jennifer replied, putting her fork down a little harder than she had meant to. She was tired of talking about it, this was supposed to be a party, and it was supposed to take her mind off things, not create new problems.

"Jen…"

"He made it pretty clear didn't he Mattie?" Jen asked ripping her bun in half. "With the whole lack of any communication what so ever."

"I don't know…" Mattie said, "Sometimes it's hard to take the risk. Did you ever send him a letter?"

"…No," Jennifer admitted.

Mattie simply raised an eyebrow.

"It doesn't matter anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"He's here for a week."

"Yeah and he came to sit with you."

"He came to sit with us, you were talking with him."

"That's because you spaced out." Mattie turned in her chair to face Jen full on. "If you want to go for it Jen, why don't you? You'll only regret it if you don't." Mattie smirked, "hey, maybe you should go for that Mike guy, he was cute."

"What about you?" Jennifer countered.

"Sorry?"

"I think I recall you talking about some… James character."

"So?"

Jennifer simply raised an eyebrow and stared at Mattie.

"Okay, okay, so it's easier said than done. My point is, is that you never will know unless you _do it_."

Jennifer made an obvious show of rolling her eyes.

"You could always just conveniently stand under the mistletoe."

"Shut up," Jennifer muttered.

"No, it's true, you could be putting your shoe and Mike could be putting on his shoe…" Mattie folded her arms, "Okay, fine. We'll change the subject. Harm told me you've been moping around, and he wanted me to talk to you about it."

Jen blinked, Mattie sure didn't waste any time, but it was something that Jen had grown to appreciate about her young friend.

"I've been thinking about going home, to see my Mom," Jen pushed her pile of salad across her plate "and _yes_ suddenly seeing Jason after all this time kind of threw me for a loop."

"Well maybe it would do you good to go home." Mattie said she watched Jen as she stopped pushing her food around her plate.

Jen set her fork down, "I'm done." Jennifer said pushing her chair back, Mattie watched as Jen disappeared into the kitchen.

Mattie let out a sheepish sigh; it was about time she knew when to keep her mouth shut.

&&&

**Jennifer's past is still a touchy subject, but one she is slowly working through. I've decided Jen has a good relationship with her Mom but she is not ready to go back home.**

**The next chapter is in the process of being re-written, so because of that I am going to delete the last chapter so there is no confusion!**

**Anyway, please review and let me know what you think! It makes my day!**


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